Popular Belief
by milak
Summary: My take on our two most popular detectives and what would happen if one of them was in love and the other one was human.
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: Popular Belief

AUTHOR: milak

RATING: M for future chapters

DISCLAIMER: I don't own a thing.

AUTHOR NOTES: I've never written a piece of fanfic in my life. Here goes nothing...

Despite popular belief Bobby Goren was not a genius, nor was he an angel. He was a man. He ran on logic, instinct, experience and years studying the nuances of human behaviour. He played people daily. More people than he even cared to admit to himself. The shuffling, stumbling detective was an act he had spent years perfecting and he wore it on the job the way he wore his suits. These things didn't so much cover his large frame as they were part of him.

He was a man of flesh and blood and with that he was prone to make mistakes. Bobby Goren was fallible. He may not like to admit it but it was true. Through extensive analysis and careful consideration he managed to keep the mistakes to a minimum but he had his fair share, both personally and professionally. He suffered from arrogance and ego, anger and desire. He had a history and because of his passion for his work he knew he had a future.

He was a man who kept very much to himself and although many people liked to see that being due to shyness the truth was it was just the way that Bobby Goren liked it. More thoughtful than most, he held those dear to him close and left all the others to their own business.

His partner Alex Eames was a surprise to him. A surprise in the casual ways she admitted personal details, a surprise to him in the way she could stick up for herself, a surprise that after all these years she still got squeamish and a surprise in the fact that they made a great team. It hadn't always looked like their pairing would be the success that it was. Their first case, three murders in the course of a diamond heist, he had made a promise to one of the victim's parents. She had been decidedly unimpressed. After a time he had found out that she had lost a husband in the line of duty. Promises had been made. No one had ever been caught.

But after a while he had learnt to differentiate her real input from her dry remarks and jokes and she had learnt to read his unfinished thoughts. He learnt not to piss her off too much when dealing with those above them in the food chain and she learnt to follow his lead when in the interrogation room. He learnt to let her into his life and she learnt to trust him.

People said she was his keeper. What they failed to see was that she was actually his freedom. Where most people thought that she grounded him, completed him, kept an eye on him what Alex actually did was play the practical cop. She did the leg-work, she allowed him the freedom to investigate without thought to the basics. Alex was the who, what, where and when. She let Bobby be the why.

Unfortunately it all seemed in danger now…


	2. Chapter 2

AUTHORS NOTES: Thank you to the kind reviewers. Much appreciated.

Goren would never know. He would never know if he truly hadn't seen what was in front of him or if, to quote himself, the only condition he had was denial. Either way it hadn't mattered. All those hints that only became apparent with the twenty-twenty vision that comes with hindsight didn't change a thing. Maybe he would have been less friendly, maybe there would have been less late nights, maybe he would have kept more distance between them. But then again maybe not.

It was no longer deniable after the court case involving Judge Garret. Goren was no longer able to pretend that their relationship hadn't shifted. The normally calm and collected Alex Eames had confessed to the world that there was more to this relationship than professional respect and friendship, not through her words, not through her conduct or the ancient letter that the defense had dug up, but through the pained look that had pinched her face and the distress that had found its way into her voice when presented with the words she had written, what seemed to her, like a lifetime ago.

To make matters worse she had also managed to misinterpret Goren's reaction to her confession in court. Whilst she pleaded on the stand she watched him in the crowd and she misread his break of gaze as hurt. For a moment she thought she had done the impossible and offended Robert Goren. The truth was much worse however, for it was embarrassment. Goren was embarrassed not by what had happened, it wasn't the first time he had heard those things about himself, but he was embarrassed by the confession her statements had made. He was embarrassed for himself, but more than anything he was embarrassed for her. This woman who had spent her life taking the hard road and succeeding had shown the room her one weakness and Goren knew that despite so many years of service people had seen and would judge on what had occurred in those few moments.

More than anything Goren felt like a fraud. He held Alex up as one of his dearest friends and yet in those moments outside of the court, when the best he could think to do was to agree with the statements she had made about himself, he knew he had not been a friend. In those awkward moments he stumbled on a course of action and she knew. She could not deny what was so easily read in his face. She looked into his eyes and knew then that he knew her secret, and what was worse was that, he knew she knew that he had seen her love for him.

And they both knew it wasn't reciprocated…


	3. Chapter 3

Time marched on as it is prone to do and it did nothing to dampen the partnership that was Robert Goren and Alexandra Eames. After the initial awkwardness Alex had felt about the cat being out of the bag she soon rediscovered her equilibrium when it became obvious that Bobby was not going to allow her feelings to change anything within their relationship. So apart from the odd wayward glance and the thoughts that occasionally slipped through her net of reality they both carried on as they had before.

It was a Friday. A non-descript Friday different only in the fact that it had seen them wrap up a case and ADA Carver had bought in a conviction on one of their old cases. The double whammy had given Alex the warm satisfaction of a job well done. It was days like this that reminded her of why she did what she did. Bobby too carried a flame of contentment, as if justice had been served and he was proud to have had a hand in it.

Maybe it was the double victory, maybe it was simply because it was the end of a long week, maybe there didn't need to be a reason at all as to how they both ended up at Alex's apartment. It didn't really matter. They had spent hours at each other places over the years and this was just another night cap before Goren took the short cab ride to his own apartment. They had shared a meal with half a dozen of the lab techs and admin staff from 1PP. Goren had then suggested the group visit a Spanish dance hall he knew. The atmosphere had been one of celebration in the small bar, an atmosphere that the 1PP group had no problems latching on to and rejoicing in.

Bobby, well known for his joy of dancing, had charmed all the women in his group, and a number of others that weren't, into joining him on the dance floor throughout the night. It was no surprise to Alex the grace with which he led his multiple partners around the floor. He had an unexpected ease and command out on the dance floor that most people found surprising in a man of Bobby Goren's size. Alex had been beguiled into drinking more than she ever would have had it just been her and Bobby, and although far from drunk and possibly not even tipsy she could feel the heat in her cheeks and had to concentrate that little bit extra on where she placed her feet as Bobby twirled her around the floor.

That was earlier in the night though, and now they sat on Alex's familiar couch basking in their own individual afterglow of a well spent evening. Their companionable silence was broken as the whistle on the kettle began to sound announcing that their blessed coffees were soon to be. Alex roused herself from the comforts of the couch and moved to step over Goren's legs which he had stretched out under the coffee table. In a movement that could never have been choreographed nor replicated by the best ballerinas Goren attempted to make room for Alex between his legs and the table by sitting up, whilst Alex tried to step over them.

He saw it in slow motion, like watching an impending car accident, as Alex twisted and came to land in his lap. Reflexively he grasped her by the waist to stop her falling further as Alex, straddled across his knees, steadied her self with her hands on his thighs. With her eyes wide and the slight rush of adrenaline registering as surprise on her face, Alex barely heard Bobby ask if she was alright. Answering in the affirmative Alex took her eyes from where her hands rested to look up into Bobby's face. Her face was flushed ever so slightly, perhaps a remanent from the alcohol, maybe from the fall or maybe, just maybe, from the close confines she now found herself in with her partner.

Bobby stared at her as she stared back and he could see it in her eyes, the cogs whirring. He could see her replaying the evening in her mind, the dancing, the laughter, how relaxed they had been with each other and he knew hat was coming. He knew it before she did and he didn't want it. He remembered the discomfort that had settled on them in the weeks directly after Alex had taken the stand during the Garret case and he didn't want to go back there. Most of all he didn't want her to say what she was thinking but he knew that it was too late. Too late for Alex to get up and get the coffee. Too late for her to apologise and for them to laugh it off. Too late for her to stop what was about to come out of her mouth unless he stopped her.

Alex started to speak. He registered the softness in her voice, the longing that had always been absent in the workplace and he could feel the guilt washing over him. So before she got further than his name he released her waist and brought the index finger of his left hand up to her lips. He didn't touch her, he didn't want to touch her, he didn't want her to have the wrong idea, he didn't want to feed the fantasy or whatever was going on in her mind, all he wanted to do was silence her before she said something, anything that was going to cause regret, pain or embarrassment to either of them. He held her gaze and held his finger to her lips.

It was then that she took his finger into her mouth…


	4. Chapter 4

AUTHOR NOTES: Once again thank you to all for the lovely reviews. I'm glad people are enjoying it.

Maybe in the future Alex would try and justify the move as a joke gone wrong. A moment of childish silliness but deep down she knew the truth of the matter… and the truth of the matter was that she wanted this. She was tired of being tough, she was tired of being one of the boys, she was tired of her attraction to Bobby and most of all she was tired of being alone. She wanted Bobby to see her as something other than his partner and more than a friend. Perhaps the mix of adrenaline, alcohol and proximity, hand in hand with her long hidden desires, was what had cause her judgement to falter so badly. For as Bobby silenced her to stop them both from feeling the embarrassment of unrequited love, in that moment, Alex had truly convinced herself that his action was a signal that she need not speak of what they both felt for each other.

As if it was a coin passing from one hand to another during a magic trick the look of shock that had so recently been worn by the fallen Alex was now resting on the face of Robert Goren. The fingertip of the index finger of his left hand, his futile attempt to stop Alex expressing her desire, was now intimately and very unexpectedly involved with Alex's mouth as she held it in place by biting gently just behind the first knuckle. Warm and moist Alex's tongue swirled around his fingertip before she slowly began to suck more of his digit into her beckoning mouth.

Robert Goren was no prude but even he had to admit it had been a while since he had shared himself intimately with a woman and despite his better judgement and the knowledge that he and Alex did not share the same feelings he did feel his heart stumble, if not skip, as he watched more and more of his finger disappear into the dark and sensual mouth of his partner. In a moment of clarity he heard his brain scream for him to stop this, to untwine his finger from her tongue, remove her from his lap and make haste to his own apartment. For a brief moment he even thought he was going to be able to pull it off as he began to move his finger out of her mouth.

Alex, however, took it as a sign to move closer and used her toes to slide herself further up her partners lap, steadying herself with a small, pale hand on his broad chest all whilst keeping up her torment on Bobby's finger. With the distance closing between them their eyes locked as Alex slowly allowed Bobby to remove his finger scraping delicately with her teeth, before soothing the skin with her moistened lips. As more of his finger became his own again Alex drew closer and as Bobby's finger tip left the confines of her mouth Alex did not hesitate in pressing her mouth to his and dragging down his bottom lip between her teeth.

Any protest he had thought to give was now forever lost on Alex's lips…


	5. Chapter 5

AUTHOR NOTES: Again thank you for the reviews. They've been lovely!

For the rest of her life Alex would have the contradictory softness of Bobby's lips and roughness of his stubble burnt upon her memory. The contrast between them fuelled her passion, as she alternated the harshness of his five-o'clock shadow against the soothing flesh of his lips for her own enjoyment, the same way she had used her teeth and her tongue on his finger to excite him. Alex felt Bobby's hands return to her waist and angling her head further she lent forward to discover the soft and sensitive patch of skin just behind Bobby's right earlobe.

At the release of his finger Bobby had returned his hands to Alex's waist with the futile thought that he could put some distance between them. When her lips found his he felt his breathing stall as he blinked rapidly. How had it gone so wrong? Somehow, despite the care he had put in to ensure he did not lead this woman on or give her false hope, here he found himself in the situation he had been working so hard to avoid. His head swam with a million thoughts focused on how he could extract himself from this situation whilst keeping Alex's dignity intact, a task he knew to be impossible as she had shown too much of her true feelings for it not to mar their relationship, even if it would only be in her eyes.

In spite of the consequences Goren steeled his resolve to put an end to this and it was at that point that Alex found the tender section behind Bobby's ear with her tongue. His breathing, which had ceased with her kiss, started with a sharp, open-mouth, intake as his body recalled its need for oxygen. His eyes closed automatically and Bobby began to feel, not as a partner, nor a friend, nor a cop, but as a man. There was that familiar feeling of heaviness, the feeling of rushing blood as his heart rate rose and more than anything he felt the stirring of lust that had lain dormant in him for quite sometime.

Later, neither of them would be able to say if he had made a noise as she had slid her hand from his chest further down to a much more intimate touch, but they would both know that that had been the catalyst for Goren's response to her kisses. It was not long after he had begun to explore her delicate neck with his own mouth that she had shifted her weight away from his body, sliding down his legs to the floor. Bobby's body immediately missed the weight and warmth her small frame had been providing, perched as she was, upon his lap as they had silently consented to what would come next.

In a move that had both excited and stunned him, Alex had freed him from his constraints, and as with his finger, she had taken him in her mouth. Like most men Bobby had a much more acute reaction to visual stimulus and he struggled to catch his breath as he watched, fascinated, with the way her lips encircled him. As she knelt between his legs, stroking his thighs and swirling her tongue in an almost casual motion Alex looked up to catch his gaze. He felt his heart twist as guilt cascaded down tainting all the other emotions he was feeling. He saw the love she had for him in her eyes and what, only moments ago, had been fuelling his lust suddenly sickened him.

Pushing with his feet Bobby slid backwards on the couch to free himself from her mouth as he reached down and cupped her cheek his hand…


	6. Chapter 6

Drawing her to him Bobby could pick up the traces of stale cigarette smoke in her hair, warmed wine on her breath and, above all, he could smell her arousal. Without breaking her gaze he used his hand on her cheek to guide her back to straddling his lap and once there he dipped his head and kissed her tenderly, it was a Judas kiss, a kiss filled with remorse, a kiss tainted with regret, a kiss that asked for forgiveness. A kiss that she returned without hesitation.

His hands stole a brief moment on her thighs before journeying northward between fabric and skin. Alex thrilled at the touch of his hands on her flesh, hands that, despite their size, she found to be elegant as they painted pictures in the air and punctuated the thoughts of this man she had come to love. As his hands made their slow ascent she lifted her arms above her head and Goren shed her shirt like a skin, the way she was slowly shedding her misgivings about this situation.

Although muscled from time spent in the gym after playing surrogate for her sister Alex retained a curvaceous quality that Goren had always admired. He liked women, hell he loved women, and the ones he liked the most shared similar physical and mental traits, firm in opinion and body, well rounded and vivacious. Although Eames wasn't what would have normally caught his eye she was far from the scrawny waifs of today's runways and for that he was grateful.

His lips traced paths across her skin as he expertly removed her bra while her fingers, deft at handling the tools of her trade in the street and on the range, now stumbled in distraction whilst trying to undo the buttons of his shirt. With a noise half groan in pleasure at his touch and half sigh in frustration at being unable to free him from his clothing Goren stopped his advances on her skin. Leaning forward he pulled his shirt over his head to allow her to trace intricate patterns of love and lust across his warm expanse of skin with tongue, teeth and fingertips.

Some people saw sex as reproduction, for others it was power. Sex for Robert Goren had always been about pleasure, pleasing himself and pleasing his partner. Although he had occasionally surprised himself with the intensity of his love making with particular lovers his sex was generally fun and flirtatious which may have surprised many people. Alex had always been fuelled by passion, not one for one-night-stands and in her mind this was no exception.

Pausing for breath and parting briefly they shed the remainder of their clothing along with their inhibitions before Alex resumed her position in Bobby's lap. After what seemed to Alex an eternity of waiting and a life time of emotion shared through their mouths and hands she felt Bobby angle his hips and slide almost reverently into her while she shuddered and mewled softly into his neck. Bobby held her against his chest as he basked in the sensation of the tight heat and moisture that was at her core while Alex relaxed and stretched to accommodate his girth.

While Alex's own heart raced from the ecstasy of hearing his heart beat Bobby pulled her close to his chest to save himself from seeing the emotion written across her face…


	7. Chapter 7

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Resubmitted to correct some glaring errors... they were GLARING I tells ya!

After a few moments to right their own senses Bobby thrust up gently as if to spur Alex into action. Returning from her own mind she began to ride Bobby whilst pressing her body close to his wall like expanse of torso. Slow and steady, Alex did not want to rush what she had fantasized about for so long, she wanted to experience Bobby Goren through all five of her senses and store each memory in the small place in her heart where she kept the most precious memories of her life, her wedding, the birth of her nephew and Robert Goren.

While Alex was casting a bronze of this moment in her mind Bobby focused on a spot in mid air whilst also retreated into his own internal thoughts, in his instance he was sorting through picture memories of past lovers. Remembering experiences that had caused him to curl his toes and throw back his head Goren closed his eyes and overlaid these histories onto the sensations flowing through his body as they moved in unison.

When he felt her soft hands on his face he knew what she was after, she wanted him back in her realm, she wanted his eyes on her, she wanted things he couldn't even pretend to give her. After delaying the inevitable for a few more moments, until she ran her thumb across his mouth, he opened his eyes and with no surprise found her watching, eyes dark in lust and lips open and moist. Leaning forward he covered her petite mouth with his and after drawing her breath from deep within he held her still and whispered low into her ear two words. Turn around. Confusion mixed with slight apprehension slid across her face and he held her gaze whilst he pointed to the ground with his index finger and spun it in a lazy circle before raising an eyebrow .

In the life of a cop the most precious item you have is trust. It's the item that allows you not only to go out and do your job but also allows you to continue being a human being whilst on the job. Without trust you hesitate, you are unsure. Without trust you have nothing. Alex knew it and Bobby knew it. Alex rose and silently complied with his request. She trusted him. It was implicit in the way they worked together. It was implicit in what they were doing now.

Bobby shuddered as she returned to his lap, without her eyes upon him he felt more free, more comfortable, more anonymous. He was a generous lover by nature and he wanted to please her but he could not let her watch him, it was too close to love to have her eyes upon him when he climaxed. He had with past lovers but this, this was different, she was different, what they wanted was different. It was too intimate and too close, he would be too vulnerable and Robert Goren did not like to feel vulnerable. It wouldn't be intentional but he knew that if he allowed to her to see him exposed that way she would carry it with her into the work place, something he could not have.

As he pushed himself closer to the edge of the couch to give him more control Alex leant forward placing her hands on Bobby's knees. After a few moments Alex relaxed into the new sensations she would soon treasure and found her rhythm. Bobby leant forward to bring his mouth to her neck whilst reaching around to tease a nipple with one hand and bringing his other between her legs. As her desire grew Bobby spoke to her. He wanted her to feel beautiful, powerful , wanted and he told her she was all of these things and more, until there was a change in her breathing and he felt her tighten around him as she came undone in his lap.

Alex leant back into his body, panting her release where she stayed until her heart had ceased to race. Bobby's hands had retreated, one to her hip and the other to her shoulder. She felt his voice in her ear more than hear it. It was throaty and lust laden and the only word it uttered was, 'stand'. In a move that was almost clumsy they stood and Bobby applied slight pressure to Alex's neck which would have, had she not been so happy to comply, forced her to bend forward. The height difference made it almost difficult but joined like this allowed Bobby to set the pace for his own release. He ran his thumb up and down her neck whilst Alex reached forward to steady herself against the coffee table as she felt him orgasm deep inside her.

Now they had both sated their desire Alex felt a sudden flush of shyness and gathering her clothing to her nakedness she retreated to the bathroom. She returned in her pajamas to find Bobby dressed in his boxer shorts holding the remainder of his clothing…


	8. Chapter 8

Stay. It was a solitary word that Alex could have imagined that she had only thought to say except for the way his spine stiffened. After a moment, in which he remained a statue facing away from her, she smiled softly, a smile that carried a halo of sadness, and stepped to his side. She took the clothes from his arms and lay them neatly across the arm of the couch. She took his paw sized hand in hers gently as if taking a child's, and led him down the hall.

By the time they reached the bedroom he seemed to have regained his senses and broke for the bathroom. After relieving himself Goren drank from the tap aimlessly recalling his mother admonishing him as a child for doing such a thing. The entire time he moved about the bathroom he steadfast refused to look into the mirror lest he see the monster he had become returning his gaze. The emotions that plagued Robert Goren swirled like a sickly, sour soup in his stomach and his frame was hung with a weariness that would not be quenched by any sleep to be found in the bed in Alex Eames bedroom.

Bobby returned from the harsh lights and reality of the bathroom to find that Alex had crawled under the covers and lay on her side expectantly. Breathing deeply Goren followed her lead and slipped into the bed next to her. Staring at the ceiling he felt Alex curl against him, cat like, and without shifting his gaze from the Angels that stared down disapproving of his falsehood he wrapped his right arm around her and drew her close.

With her head resting on his shoulder Alex moved to bring her right leg over Bobby's in a more intimate arrangement but as she brushed against his thigh she felt him twitch causing her to hesitate. Bobby moved his legs to tent the covers with his knees. He hooked his feet behind her knees and urged them up until her thighs were resting against the back of his. Had they been sitting in a chair Bobby would have been sitting on Alex's lap, laying down however meant that Alex was curled around the side of his body and under his legs.

She sighed softly against his shoulder while he remained perfectly still staring ever upwards knowing that sleep would not come while he lay in his partners bed. Alex could feel the tension in his body, that which had earlier been supple and smooth, was now taught with anxiety and she knew. Alex knew this would never happen again. As the realisation dawned on her and she sensed the crushing cold feeling of defeat rising in her throat she also felt the soft caress of his thumb on her hip. She was amazed at the warmth such a small movement could cause, an acknowledgment that he knew she was there inside his arms and she realised then that she had his love. Not a physical love, not the desire that she longed for but a love none the less.

Alex would never give up that night, she would always carry it with her and she would never try to repeat it but at that moment she knew that she would never wake up in Bobby Goren's arms. As she revelled in his warmth and breathed in time with his heart Alex knew that nothing she could say or do could punish Bobby more than the guilt that was already twisting in his heart for what he had not only allowed her to do, but had indeed done himself. As sleep stole her from her thoughts she did more than forgive Bobby in her mind but thanked him for one night together for her to recall on the lonely nights and somewhere as her breathing steadied and deepened she hoped this night would allow her a freedom from her love of Bobby Goren.

Some where between Alex's breathing becoming a soft snore and sunrise Bobby angled his body and slid from Alex Eames bed silently dressing in the dark. As he stole from her house in the early morning he prayed to some long forgotten God in his mind that the petite blond that he had stood by for the past five years would want to continue to stand by him when she woke up to the hollow place where he once had been.

Somewhere in her dreams and his heart they knew it wasn't the end.

AUTHOR POSTSCRIPT: Well there it is. I thank everyone who took their time to read and review. This has been fun. I might be up for writing some more fanfic... no one seems to have hated me too much:o)


End file.
